stop judging vanesa.

Im so stupiiiiiddddddddd. Ughhh there's this guy who is bosnian. Who is really sweet, who lives in dsm...who really likes me and hasn't given up on me ever since we started talking which is a few months ago, and yet I still don't date him. He's not the cutest looking guy around, and he is older...a biit older..about as old as my ex and its just kind of like...urghh but whoever said that I should worry about what others think...and I should give people a chance, if I don't do that how do I expect others to give me a chance................okay.........okay..ok...yea..ok..fine....

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anddd here they come.

so this was what.... a day and a half of being happy? this isnt fair. i hardly have any hours to work anyway. i only just got my first check. i want to go shopping. i dont want to pay my phone bill right now. ill never have enough money to pay it and be able to do/get what i want. this is stupid the thing isnt even on my name. its on his. how does he not have any money to pay it, hes had money for the past two years and now just because i got a freaking check he doesnt have any money. ughhhhhhhhhhh.

teeheee :)

I skipped school todaaaayyy :)) schwoops.. but oh well!! Ill spend the next few hours catching up on everything and stuff :)) So yeah, and Ill be cleaning up my room and doing some laundry, then ill go shopping a little earlier and I wont have to wait until after school!!! There is something else that I want to say, really bad just as well...but I wont! I don't want to jinx it...ive learned my lesson from the past!! hehe have a nice dayy :)

"OMG I WISH...." post.

LAST PIC: OMG I WISH I DIDNT HAVE SO MANY PIMPLES
SECOND TO LAST PIC: OMG I WISH I COULD GO SHOPPING
THIRD TO LAST-FIRST PIC: OMG I WISH I LOOKED LIKE THIS GIRL :/


I AM NOT HAPPY WHAT SO EVER AT ALL EVEN A LITTLE BIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOT WITH MY LOOKS, NOT WITH MY ATTITUDE, NOT WITH MY ROOM, NOT WITH MY CLOTHES, NOT WITH MY SCHOOL THINGS.. NOT WITH ANYTHINGG!! AND I WANT TO CHANGE IT, REALLY REALLY SUPER BAD BUT THRES NO TIME ITS ALREADY NINE AND I HAVE TO GO TO BED BECAUSE I HAVE SCHOOL TOMORROW AND I WORKED AND URGHH. HERES WHAT I WANTTTT TO DOOO. GAIN WEIGHT, GET TAN, DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT TO MY HAIR, UMM.... YEAH THERES MORE BUT IM JUST SO PISSED WITH MYSELF RIGHT NOW.LOL GOODDDDDDDDD. AND THEN ON THE OTHER HANDDDDDD I WANT TO LOOK LIKE MY FRIEND IN NORWAY WHOSE JUST LIKE.. NOT LIKE THEM BUT STILL SO AMAZING. BUT I WANT TO LOOK LIKE THESE GIRLS MORE. IM SO......IDK WHAT THE WORD IM LOOKING FOR IS BUT I KNOW WHAT IM THINKING OF AND YEAH. LOL DOES ANYONE ELSE EVER THINK LIKE THIS? LIKE DO YOU EVERR JUST GET RANDOM MOMENTS WHERE YOU JUST WANT TO CHANGE EVERY LITTLE THING?! IM EATING 24/7 NOW, IM GONNA GET A HAIRCUT SOMETIME THIS WEEKEND, OR JUST DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT TO MY HAIR. IM GONNA GO SHOPPING SOOOON. IF NOT TOMORROW THEN BY WEDNESDAY FOR SURE, LIKE AS SOON AS I GET MY CHECK INTO THE BANK I AM GOING SHOPPING. ILL HAVE TO CLEAN UP MY ROOM AND GET SOME MORE MAKEUP AND YEAH. OKAY. IM DONE RANTING AND IM NOT REALLY SLEEPY YET SO IM GONNA GO SHOWER AND THEN IF IM STILL NOT SLEEPY THEN DO HOMEWORK AND THEN IF IM STILL NOT SLEEPY, GET STARTED ON THIS... OKAYY GOODNIGHT X333
P.S. TELL ME IF IM THE ONLY ONE WHO THINKS LIKE THIS?! LOL I DONT THINK I AM, BUT AT TIMES DUDE.. UGHH ! IT GETS ON MY NERVES LOL

Good Morning

It is 9 am! I didn't wake up too long ago, but just decided I'd do a quick post. I have tons of homework to do, a lot to clean up, and clothes to.. iron and stuff before work!! I'm thinking of curling my hair for work today because I don't want to shower yet.. I'll just shower tonight after work and then yeah :) I have to do like really well super amazing at work today because next week I work like zero hours, and I'm totally gonna have to show them that I really like working there and stuff, because as much as I sometimes complain that working is too much and stuff and I wish I had a weekend off or whatever, I LIKE WORKING!! goshh. Lol But anyway, I seem to be in a pretty good mood today :D I don't think we'll be hearing from anyone in europe this week :/ it sucks but oh well I guess :P I don't want to say I've given up on it, but I've kind of let faith take it over, I still want to move but if its not meant to be, then its not, ya know ;P But yeah, I'm going to go eat now and stuff, and you guys have a great rest of the day!!
XX
p.s that is a pic of me from summer of 2009!!! aah! :P lol

Whats new? (:

I just got home from work about an hour ago (: It was actually really nice, I had a pretty good time..aside from some girls stealing something :/ But what are ya gonna do
it happens often. I mean not often Lol,but it happens.
Right now, im just going to start homework, and relax for the rest of the night.. then ill be cleaning tomorrow, working and then its off to school again every day for five days for three or four weeks :P lol
oh wellss
have a great night!
XX

hangover.....

oh sheisseee :/ l0L
The worst part about having an amazing night is the day after ://
I feel like shit, (excuse the french.) My feet kill, my head kills. and I only got like.. not a lot of hours of sleep :P I'm just laying in bed right now.. still in the clothes I was in last night, honestly lol I have no energy for anything, and like i said. hangover ;/ I have to work tonight from 4 to nine :/
so I have 2.5 more hours to rest ughh.. lol
There isnt much to say really lol last night was a ton of fun.
But Im glad to be back in my boring little town :)
I kinda starrted to forget about my culeral pride, but its back now, and hopefully not going away for a while! I'm hoping to go back to visit my cousin soon, maybe for Holiday break! Hopefully
But right now, I'm soooo homesick!! :/
Not even kidding, I can't wait for summer and to go back!!!! I get my first check today :) So that's exiting.. I get to work 3 days in a row again, then its back to five day school weeks for three more weeks. On the bright side, I just have like a month of school left. And, I'm almost done with my online class! If I do all of my homework this weekend, and manage to get really good grades on my online class homework/ last two tests/quizzes, Ill graduate average rofl
AND ill have so much more time to work on my german! its been like three weeks :/
Just like... a day or two left and then we get to talk to my grandma and my aunt and uncle from Germany!!!! Gosh I miss them after only like seven days go by :P lol
Anyway, its like 1:30 now, I hope you liked some of the pics there :) Im gonna go check what my moms up to and then do some homework :) Have a good rest of the day
XX

Happy Thanksgiving!

I hope everyone is having a great thanksgiving so far! Ive had noo time to blog lately, honestly! I spent all morning getting ready, and when its time to leave, my mom decides to put the turkey in the oven lol oh wells. I'm getting super exited tho! itll remind me so much of home, I can't wait!! It'll be amazing, I'm getting teary-eyed just thinking about it!! The good looking guys with their hair made all nice and everything, it'll be beyond amazing!! But I really miss home right now :( Its making me so homesick! But its okay, I'll be back soon enough :) <3 But for the rest of the night, have a great dinner, or great whatever it is that you're doing and be safe!! I'll blog more tomorrow or Saturday, whenever I get some time!!
Loveee xx

2010 memories :)

The weather isn't soo nice outside, but it reminded me of the first three months or so of 2010 and it just made me smile :) It's not that I don't like life right now, I really do, I mean things have to change, but I do miss a lot of the things that were going on at this time last year!! It's nice! But, I have to get ready, well not ready but like wash my face and brush my teeth, im feeling much better with my cold, andd.. i have to do some homework and stuff, clean up that way I can rest a bit tomorrow, and then we have to leave for outta town! Can't wait!!! x333

jer samo dobrim curama, uvijek se ruzno desavaa..

HI hi! I slept in until nine today!! I haven't slept in until nine in a long long time!! Wow, I don't have a lot to write really, but i do feel much better :) I'm listening to music right now, and just chatting it up with people :) Today is a day where I miss everything and everyone! It's almost eleven o'clock already! geeze! I think I'll get more into blogging in these next few days of break!! I have today and tomorrow off until I have to work again.. fml :P But at least I work with Hillary for one of the days! Anywho, there is nothing much else to say, so im gonna go now! byee!! XX

Real Sick Blog :P

Hallo, well I finally am blogging in a good mood for once...but I am sick! :(
Achhh this sucks soo much, especially since I am only one day and two nights away from the concert! I really have to keep my mind focused on feeling better! I am following both European anddd American specialties for when you have a cold, and though they are not that different, there are some twists, once my dad leaves for work, I will ask my mom to check my temperature and hopefully I do not have any, but if I do, then the vodka goes on my feel :/ ugh I hate that, but it must be done! I came home from school today, made myself some tea and wrapped myself in blankets and drank it. Then when mommy came home, I asked her to make some soup and I ate that as well and I was feeling a bit better, then I decided to take a nap...well not really a nap I was hoping to sleep through the entire night even though i was only five pm at the time :P But my mom woke me up around six because my eye doctor was calling me to tell me about the discount going on this weekend. Thank you eye doctor. :P But after I woke up, I ate dinner with garlic :P Because apperantly that is supposed to drive your cold away (: And then my mom made me some more tea and so I am sitting here, driking it. I feel great, just except for that my throat hurts and my nost is stuffy yet runny and I have a headache :P But I'm super exited for Thursday to come so I have to get really well, really soon!! So lots of rest, lots of excersice, and especially lots of feeling good!!! Apperantly the cause of my sickness right now is my little moodswing this weekend, what with my friend passing away, and then troubles in boy land, and hen work stressing me out a bit, I just broke down. But then yesterday and today I felt a bit better, so of course I would get sick! woww fml in these situations :P But now, I will just go and drink my tea and think about Thursday, I think I'm going to take o a wholee new liking to America, once again after this! But I'm never giving up my dream of moving to home :)) Have a good night everyone who isnt sick!!
XX

sorry!

bitchology: being a bitch means...i stand up for myself
and my beliefs. i stand up for those i love. i speak my
mind, think my own thoughts, or do things my way. i won't
compromise what’s in my heart. i live life my way. i
won’t allow anyone to step on me. i refuse to tolerate
injustice. it means i have the courage and strength to
allow myself to be me. so try to stomp on me, douse my
inner flame; squash every ounce of beauty i hold within.
you won’t succeed; and if that makes me a bitch..so be it

promise yourself to be so strong that nothing can
disturb your peace of mind. look at the sunny side
of everything and make your optimism come true.
think only of the best, work only for the best,
and expect only the best. forget the mistakes of
the past and press on to the greater achievements
of the future. give so much time to the improvement
of yourself that you have no time to criticize others.

live with the faith that the whole world is on your
side so long as you're true to the best that is in you.

success is how high you bounce
after you hit the bottom.

if you give up when things get hard,
it shows you never really wanted that dream.
if there ever was a day to turn it all around,
today is that day. you are brand new.

"some women choose to follow men and some women choose to
follow their dreams. if you're wondering which way to go,
remember that your career will never wake up in the
morning and tell you that it doesn't love you anymore."


for what it's worth; its never too late or, in my case, too early to be whoever you want to be. there's no time limit, stop whenever you want. you can change or stay the same, there are no rules to this thing. we can make the best or the worst of it. i hope you see things that startle you. i hope you feel things you've never felt before. i hope you meet people with a different point of view. i hope you live a life you're proud of. if you find that you're not, i hope you have the strength to start all over again

it was like having it this close to your dreams and then watching them brush past you, like a stranger in the crowd. at the time you don't think much of it. you know, we just don't recognize the most significant moments of our lives while they're happening. back then i thought, "well, there'll be other days." i didn't realize that that was the only day.

well i don't know where i’ll go now and i don't really care who follows me there, but i’ll burn every bridge that i cross and find some beautiful place to get lost

make it happen. prove them wrong.

i think everyone at some point, goes through that one moment where they think "my god, i can't do this". but you know what? you can. no matter how close you are to the edge, no matter how badly you feel like giving up, or think it's best to do so rather than have to put up with the pain - don't. don't lose hope that things will get better. don't give up, because there is someone out there who will make you smile in a way no one else ever could. keep that glimmer of hope alive in your heart, because someone is out there searching for your smile. so wipe your tears and keep your head held high.

love is such a strong word. & if you are going to use it, make sure you know what it means. `cause it hurts to hear and know that you don't mean it.
= alone and restless <3

i realize that when your heart breaks you have to fight like hell to stay alive because you are that pain you feel. that’s life. the confusion && tears. that’s there to remind you that somewhere out there is something better && that something better is worth fighting for <3
= one tree hill; nathan scott

throughout a girl’s life, she'll kiss a lot of guys, and i promise you she'll forget almost half of them. she’ll remember a few, but there will be that one guy, that one moment, that she'll remember for the rest of her life. you were that guy, that one kiss, that one moment.

sometime’s all a girl really needs is a hand to hold and a heart that will understand

take chances, date someone totally wrong for u, know someone random, be random, say "i love you" sing out loud, laugh at a stupid joke, cry, apologize, tell someone how much they mean to u let someone know what they're missing, don't be afraid to say "i miss you"

the one & only thing i want right now is to find a guy who likes me for me, a guy who isn’t afraid to act like himself around me & for me to be able to act like myself around him...someone to cuddle with & make me feel wanted...someone to love & someone to love me

i've stopped dwelling on the bad things; and began loving the good things in life. there's so much you can miss out on if you’re not willing to look at the happiness. so live with a forgiving heart, an open soul, and without a care in the world.

the suns gonna shine and the rains gonna fall. and in the end you might get burnt or wet but thats life, so dance in the puddles and bathe in the sun, and at the end of the day smile everythings gonna be alright.

"the biggest disease
this day & age is
that of people
feeling unloved."
-princess diana

mr feeny- why do we always say no?
eric-because you don't love each other enough
mr-feeny- how do you know that?
eric-because if you did, you would risk everything,
even the lives you've made without each other for that love
-b0y meets w0rld

it`s not about being
who everyone else
wants you to be
it`s about being yourself
& finding someone
who loves every bit of it <3

find the one you can be yourself in front of and say
absolutely anything, you can laugh, you can cry, you
can hug, you can fight w/ him& then make up at the
end of the night & he would still be crazy about you

happiness is the secret to all beauty;
there is no beauty that is attractive without happiness
-- christian dior

it`s the little things
that mean the most <3

funny how a photograph
can take you back in time
to places and embraces
that you thought you left behind

some days the whole world seems upside down and then somehow when you least expect it the world rights itself again. - grey’s anatomy

i believe people fall in love, but i think at this age it’s easy to fall out of love. - the hills


the only thing really that there is left to do is to forgive and forget. i want to forgive you and i want to forget you. - the hills


something tells me that if we were really meant to be, you’d be fighting to be with me.

some love stories aren't epic novels, some are short stories but that doesn’t make them any less filled with love. - sex and the city

beast: i want to do something for her... but what?
cogsworth: well, there's the usual things: flowers... chocolates... promises you don't intend to keep...
- beauty and the beast

it’s up to you to find beauty in the ugliest of days

stop running after them. just stop it. sit down, read a book, watch the tv, go to sleep. if it's really meant to be, they'll turn around and be like, "wait. she's not chasing after my ass anymore," and then he'll stand up, put down that book, and run like the wind to get you back.

it doesn't matter anymore. i guess things happen for a reason. tears eventually fade and one day everything will be exactly how it's supposed to be. moving on is a process & you have to promise yourself that you're really ready to let go.

if you really need him, fate won't let you lose him. fate will bring him back. it may not be soon, but he'll come back.

i've learned the best way to live life is with a smile on your face. sure, there's reasons to frown, but there are more little reasons to smile. :)

hello broken heart, my name is love.
maybe you've forgotten - we've met before.
i'm here to remind you of better days;
i'm here to teach you how to live again.

maybe we're moving too fast, i don't know.
but for the first time in my life, i don't really care.
[summerland]

god would never take something away from you,
without the intention of replacing it with something so much better.

so take your empty words, your broken promises, and all the time you stole because i'm done with this.

take one breath and then take another. repeat these steps until you feel you are doing better

don’t make someone your everything cause when they leave, you'll have nothing.

life is about chasing after the things you truly
think are worth it, even if they don't happen. .
i'd rather have nothing than know i settled - -
for something i didn't want. –selma hayek

love is always a good thing no matter how much it hurts. even after it’s over, even though the pain, anyone who has ever really loved will tell you that they never regretted a second of it, no matter how much it hurt in the end & if you tell me differently, i will tell you we're not truly in love <3

there's a point in life when you get tired of
chasing everyone & trying to fix everything
but it's not giving up, it's realizing you
don't need certain people & all of their bullshit.

don't ever let anyone make you feel like you don't deserve what you want.
- 10 things i hate about you

i felt something catch in my throat, a sudden surge of sadness. it caught me unaware, almost taking my breath away. that was the thing; you never get used to it, the idea of something being gone. just when you think it's reconciled and accepted, someone points it out to you and it just hits you all over again.


as soon as you start to have romantic feelings for someone, you're fucked. you and this person are going to hurt one another. even if you are together for the rest of your life, you're going to feel indescribable pain. when you're in, no matter how deep, you're in.


i miss you doesn't even begin to cover it. i miss everything about you. about the past. and about how happy i was back then.

"i finally understood what true love meant...love meant that you care for another person's happiness more than your own, no matter how painful the choices you face might be." - dear john


sometimes despite our best wishes and intentions, fate wins.

most often we fall in love with the person we think we love but to only discover that for them, we are just for passing time while the one who truly loves us remains either a friend or a stranger. so here’s a piece of advice; let go when you’re hurting too much, give up when love isn’t enough, and move on when things are not like before. for sure there is someone out there who will love you even more. - unknown

here's my theory on men and women. when a man meets a woman he decides within around thirty seconds whether or not he finds her attractive. if he doesn't, they become friends. if he does, they might become friends, but the potential for them to become lovers never quite goes away. when a woman meets a man she decides within around thirty seconds whether or not she finds him attractive. even if she doesn't, they become friends, but at any given point in their relationship she could fall in love with him. she could fall in love with him because he's kind, sensitive & he makes her laugh. because she grows up & realizes the sexual attraction is not the be-all and end-all to life. because she finally realizes that she deserves a nice guy. that nice guys aren't all boring. that sometimes they do wonders for your ego, that sometimes they're just what you need. - straight talking by jane green

each of us may think we know exactly what we need to make us happy, what will be good for us, what will ensure we have our happy ending, but life rarely works out in the way we expect, and our happy ending may have all sorts of unexpected twists and turns, be shaped in all sorts of unexpected ways. - jane green

you know, the right guy won’t get you to change. he won’t subtly pressure you. he won’t tell you who you can and can’t talk to. he won’t hide the fact that you’re hanging out. he’s not gonna tell you you’re wrong for feeling; for being a girl. the right guy will show you off to his friends. he’ll take it as slow as you want. he’ll only go as far as you’re comfortable with. he’ll take you out to places, even if it’s just a fast food place or the store. he’ll actually sit through your stupid, girly movies with you because he just wants to be with you. the right guy will come along someday, you just gotta tough it out and wait for him. but whatever you do, don’t settle for the wrong guy. you deserve so much more. - unknown

even when you don't want to - actually, scratch that. especially when you don't want to, get out of bed, do your hair and make-up, put on your prettiest dress and those sky-high heels and strut your stuff.

ex's are ex's for a reason. because at one time in your life, they proved to you they were a prize-winning dickhead. what's changed?

are you here because you need me? or you need someone?

here's to life, as beautiful and as painful as it may be.

when it's real. when it's right. don't let anything stand in your way.

one of the toughest parts in life is deciding when to give up or try harder.

the most important thing is to enjoy life…to be happy. that's all that matters.

you can wish upon a hundred stars, but that won't change a thing going on in your life.

it's hard, it's hard to not know what you want, but somehow need to keep moving foward at the same time.

there are better things ahead than any we leave behind. -c.s. lewis

people know the truth, they may not like it, or want to know it, but, but they always know. -the last kiss


if i could explain love in one word, it would have to be trust. trust that he doesn't cheat on you, trust that he doesn't lie to you, trust that he really likes you, trust that he will always be there for you, trust that he can go to a party and not get high or drunk, trust that you don't have to worry about him breaking up with you the second you wake up, trust that he will stick up for you, trust that he will never fall in love with another girl, trust that he won't just get sick of you, and trust that he wants you like you want him.

i cannot change what i cannot control.


“unless your heart, your soul, and your whole being are behind every decision you make, the words from your mouth will be empty, and each action will be meaningless. truth and confidence are the roots of happiness.”

here's to empty words and even emptier promises. here's to a lack of trust and settling for less than you want.

i don’t regret anything because it’s life’s little twists and turns and bumps and bruises that make you who you are. why would i regret that? - dawson's creek

go with your gut but use your head. - the hills

in my lifetime i've come to realize that you can't depend upon other people for what you want, and you can't be scared to go out there and get it. you have to dream hard, wish big, and chase after your goals, cause no one else is going to do it for you. and even if things don't work out, you'll always be able to say you tried.


i won’t deny that i was happy with us and that i loved every second when we were together but things start for a reason and they end for a reason, too.

i guess life took us in two different directions and maybe that's okay with you 
but sometimes i find myself trying to find my way back to where you are.

it's amazing, really, just how much pain the human heart can take.
-nora roberts


move out of your comfort zone. you can only grow if you are willing to feel awkward and uncomfortable when you try something new. -brian tracy

just because something is unspoken doesn't mean that it disappears.

hi

sometimes I feel like I am so close to figuring it out, who I'm supposed to be, what I'm supposed to do.. and then poof. it's gone..
do you ever feel like that?

"SHE REJECTED YOU. THAT'S WHY YOU WANT HER."

"WHAT ALWAYS HAPPENS. LIFE."

sOCIETY'S STTANDARDS ARE MESSED UP. IF YOU'RE
RESERVED AND QUIET, YOU'RE EMO. IF YOU'RE OPEN AND
EXPRESSIVE, YOU'RE ATTENTION HUNGRY. IF YOU'RE A
VIRGIN BY 16, YOU'RE DOING SOMETHING WRONG. IF YOU
LOSE IT BY 16, YOU'RE A WHORE. IF YOU DON'T
COMPLIMENT YOURSELF, YOU'RE BEGGING FOR COMPLIMENTS.
IF YOU DO COMPLIMENT YOURSELF, YOU'RE FULL OF YOURSELF.
IF YOU'RE UNIQUE, YOU'RE WEIRD. iF YOU'RE "NORMAL,"
YOU'RE BORING. IT'S HARD TO FIND YOURSELF IN A WORLD SO
CENTERED AROUND PERFECTION, WHEN IN REALITY
IMPERFECTION IS WHAT DEFINES US.

WITHOUT STRUGGLE
THERE IS NO PROGRESS

bECAUSE SOMETIMES, tHE pEOPlE yOU cAN't lIvE WItHOut
CAN lIve WItHOUt yOU

"pERfECTION, ANGELINA...COMES IN MANY FLAVORS."

SNOWGLOBE

i would suggest you take a walk in my shoes, but there
is no way in hell that you could rock these heels like
i do, so don't bother trying.

bad stuff does happen sometimes. always remember that,
but remember that you have to move on, somehow. you just
pick up your head and stare at something beautiful like
the sky, or the ocean, and you'll move the hell on.

true strength is being able to hold it all together when
no one would blame you for falling apart.

she laid her heart and soul right in your hands, and you
stole her every dream and you crushed her plans. she never
even knew she had a choice, and that's what happens when
the only voice she hears is telling her she can't. stupid
boy.

i thought i knew you, but you proved me wrong. i knew that
in the end, the only one i can depend on is me. i keep
telling myself, maybe i shouldn't ask for so much. but in
reality, it really isn't all that much. if you say you're
going to do something, follow through with it. don't leave
me hanging because of some excuse. i don't want to hear
it. if you make a promise, keep it. if you know you can't
keep it, don't make that promise. simple as that.

it's not who you are that holds you back, it's who you
think you're not.

if anyone asks, i'll tell them we both just moved on.
when people all stare, i'll pretend that i don't hear
them talk. whenever i see you, i'll swallow my pride and
bite my tongue. pretend i'm okay with it all, act like
there's nothing wrong.

someday i'll fly, someday i'll soar. someday i'll be so
damn much more, 'cause i'm bigger than my body gives me
credit for.

she's hurt. mentally & emotionally. literally &
metaphorically, but everyday she walks outside with a
smile on her face. because that's who she is, the girl
who never stopped smiling.

you made your choice, and it wasn't me. so if one day you
try to come back and the choice is mine, it won't be you.
karma hurts, baby.

you've got to take the good with the bad,
smile with the sad,
love what you've got,
and remember what you had.
always forgive, but never forget.
learn from mistakes, but never regret.

at some point, you have to make a decision. boundaries
don't keep other people out. they fence you in. life is
messy. that's how we're made. so, you can waste your
lives drawing lines. or you can live your life crossing
them. - grey's anatomy

sometimes to keep it together, you have to leave it alone.


i guess when all is said and done, you are who you are,
and that should be good enough for everybody else.

and when your world seems to come crashing down, and the
people you thought you trusted have betrayed you, smile.
smile and make them wonder why.

don't be reckless with other people's hearts, don't put up
with people who are reckless with yours.

the minute you start enjoying yourself and the person who
you've become, when you walk into a room with your head
held high, the minute you wake up and are glad to be you,
the possibilities and opportunities will come knocking at
your door.

so maybe you were special, and maybe you were supposed to
be the one, but then again maybe you were just like the
rest of them,

tomorrow i will be a stronger, more patient, and better
refined person. -hayley williams

cause you had a good girl, that's a keeper. you had a
good girl, but didn’t know how to treat her. so silly boy
get out my face. why do you like the way regrets taste?
- silly boy by lady gaga

don't worry about it baby. one day he'll realize he lost a
diamond while he was too busy collecting stones

finally moving on, it's something that i have to accept.
i'm honestly done. it's now gotten to the point where he
is definately trying to intentionally hurt me. it was a
painful wake up call but i needed it.

it was real, wasn't it? you and me. such a long time ago,
we were just a couple of kids. but we really loved each
other, didn't we? - the notebook

being with all the girls in the world doesn't make you a
man, but making one girl feel like she is the world...well
, that does.

the only unreachable dream is the one you don't reach for.

forever has no meaning when your living in the moment. i
wasn’t ready for that moment to end.

"sometimes, i find my head spinning. not because of
alcohol, but because of my life." - lady gaga

"don't cry for a guy, let a guy cry for you cause girls
give and forgive, but guys get and forget."
- one tree hill

you have to learn the rules of the game. and then you have
to play the game better than anyone else.
- albert eienstien

hurt and overwhelmed..

it hurts when someone gets so close to you that they grab your heart with no problem...they tell you they love you, they tell you theyll wait for you, they tell you they want to marry you..and then with no warning, no nothing...they just remove you..theyignore you, they don't say two words worth believing to you. I don't know why someone would do that.. It's unbelievable what kinds of people there are in the world.
Right now, I give up on love. I give up on it until I move. Because in my heart I only, and only want to be with someone who is from the country I'm from.Nothing racist or whatever about it, it's just what I want. So bye bye love until I move. I'm going to just not going to let people get to me as much anymore...there's no point in getting hurt over and over again.
Work is so overwhelming..I mean, it's not that bad, but yesterday I had to work two extra hours, so I worked eight hours and I'm really not used to it, what so ever, so I'm in no mood for anything today..but if I can pull it off today, I have the rest of the week until Friday off. Unless they call me in. And Thursday is the concert, so I'm just going to have to pick myself up and make myself better, after I let myself hurt a little first..no more depending on others Vanesa. Time to be a big girl.. :/
I'm still suffering from the loss of my friend as well :/ The mornings are the worst when I just wake up and realize tha someone who I have known since third grade, who is the same age as me, went to the same school from third grade and up has passed away. The same age...senior in high school, had just a few months to finish and get his life truly started..but God took him... I guess He needed Justin more than we did down here, but still...it hurts, and not only me but everyone else.. And it's too much to handle right now...and I don't know if I can do it but I have to..grow up and move on I guess...try and have a nice day everyone :/
XX

uhmmm...?

So my "boyfriend" deleted me off of facebook? Okay I'm so done with this. Like guys are really starting to get on my nerves right now. I'm so emotional right now and the last thing I needed was this. With no explanation either. I'm giving him once chance. Tomorrow. if he doesn't add me in the morning and its still a pending request, i text him tomorrow, if he doesn't reply within a half an hour. I'm done. I'm deleting every male species I don't know off of my fb, actually just plain anyone I don't know
I'm sick of letting all of this get to my head. It's not worth it. And I just have to learn to stop being so gullible. Once I do that, things should set into place.
I just worked and I'm so tired right now and I feel like crying :P So I'm going to bed and tomorrow is Saturday.. we'll see how it goes :P I'm just absolutly ready for Thursday to come.. goodnight.

and this is why you should live life to the fullest...

R.I.P Justin..
We will miss you greatly :(
Thinking back to all the memories from third grade and up...
Its unbelievable...
You were too young and its not fair tht it happened to you :(
You didn't do anything wrong
You were, you are amazing :(
Love you buddy... x3

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FRIDAY

It's hard coming up with titles for these blogs!! Like I don't like using the same one twice so it's like grrr :P haha
Well it's friday! Miss. Vanesa gets to work tonight! I have a feeling that if I don't take a nap when I come home from work, I will be a walking zombie at work!I hope I get my check :P I'm going to go insane! I'm so glad its finally the weekend, I havent worked on my german in WEEKS! I'm going to cryy if I don't get at it soon! And just two more days of school after today and then we have fivve days off! I have that concert on thanksgiving yayy!! Im going to have to reset my phone or something this weekend because it wont text like anyone out of my friggin cityy. And I'm going to need that for next Thursday!
It looks like I wont be hearing from my love anytime soon :( He's heading home for the weekend, and I don't have any minutes on my phone STILL which I was going to go get last night but I couldn't because my aunt was here :( I feel like I haven't really talked to him in ages :/ And I really miss it, so maybe possibly today before work I can get my mom to buy me one!! And that shirt because it'll be like 50% off anyway..yeah I'll ask her right now plus I have to get dressedd and dry my hair and etc. I am nott in the mood to get out of bed today :P Ugh it's going to suck if I don' talk to him all weekend :/ Oh I wont be in a good mood today :/ Oh well, either way i have to get it over withh
have a good friidayyy
XX

Thursday ~

I have a few minutes to write, why shouldn't i :) The truth is, I love blogging, I really really do :D It's just sometimes I get so overwhelmed or so upset about something that I just don't want to do anything :P But so far what's been happening is mostly school, and my parents fighting again :P But its not too bad thank goodness, because my dad ate before he left for work last night, and he took food with him, so that means this fight is NOTHING. And they've nneverr had a NOTHING fight before! So there is still hope :) And I doubt this one will last very long so that's good as well! Tomorrow is friday! And I get to work! My dad doesn't work this weekend though so I will have good luck and wont have to be around him then.. I work saturday as well :) And then Sunday I don't work, for now :) Unless they call me, I'll have to ask for Thanksgiving off because I'm going to a concertttt in a city nearby!! Ohhh it has been too long!! Almost...4 months until I've went anywhere!! And after that..well whoo knows what will happen! Umm...my bf and I have just gotten closer and more in love :) It's amazing, he's sooo different from all the other guys, my gosh..I can't wait to see him, I just hope he waits for me, because I am going crazyyy over not being able to see him or anythingg!! :( But, right now I have to go ahead and get dressed and ready and stuff because I still have some homework i have to do, andd stufff :) So have a great Thursday everyone!
BTW Do you like my wedding dress? :)) x33
Loveee,
XX

I feel upset when...

My parents fight :/ yup... it's that ime of the month again when the good things that happen come to an end and the bad starts piling up :(
I'm so tired and I had to work today, and my eyes are like blood shot, and I'm crying.. and this is not a good post :( I can't talk to my bf all day tomorrow unless he can get on fb through his phone because I couldn't get minutes on my phone that I could text him with :/ And ugh why does this have to happen its not even a big dea... god I hope this ends soon and with a good ending. The last time we all really fought was when I was forced to break up with my ex... and that lasted about two weeks, so but this one is the stupidest one ever, i swear... i just really hope it ends soon :/ Ill have a talk with father tomorrow...if he's awake and will listen.. prayy for me, God PLEASE. help us get this fixed TOMORROW MORNING, because this is just a waste of our time :/ its 10:30 now and I am going to sleep.... night :/

awww

Heyyyy, for the past few days I haven't been really in the mood for blogging, it seems as though right as like a million amazing things happen in my life I just don't feel like blogging lol whoch sucks because then later I don't feel like going back and like thinking if I missed telling you anything so you just miss out on some really great stuff which tends to upset me a little lol I would update today except I have a ton of homework to do and I am extremly tired first thing I have to get started on s my online class so ill do that right now, im ipdating off of my phone even thogh my computer is right here I just don't feel like updating from it hehe anyways I will truly update sometime this week though I promise other than that have a great rest of the day everyone :)
XX

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oh na na ;)

heyyy ya'll how was your guys's day today?! Mine was beyond amazing, I love work!!! I love the people I work with, he manager is beyond amazing, the only downside right now is the fact that I am so tired! But heres a pic of todayy :) I have nothign else much to say, someone is taking up my attention and I need to stay focused and get to bed asap!! have a good night :)
XX

SUNDAY!

I want that dress!! ^^



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U0CGsw6h60k&feature=player_embedded


Listen to this song OMGGHHKP I LOVE RIHANNA! ^^



OMGHHKP HAPPY NOVEMBER 14TH!! I have so much to do today it's insane! But I love it! I woke up around 6 am this morning cause someting woke me up, I have have no idea what! But I had noo idea that when I woke up it was November 14th, and I was almost in a bad mood all day, its so weird! I don't know how I remembered it was the fourteenth but when I did, OMGHHKP I freaked!!!! :)) I'm obsessing over rihanna today! I have less than 5 hours to finish my homework and get ready for work! So I'm going to have to get started on that right away, I also have to clean up a little bit, and yeah! So that's pretty much it for today!! Or, not for today, but for now! Have a great morningg everyone and make it unforgetable!!! x33
Lovee XX

haha guess what :)

Well, here is what I bought today :) some new shampoo, headbands, hairstyling combs, hair tyes, hair color, and make up remover wipes :) nothing too fancy, not too much I didn't want to spend a lot :) Afer we went shopping we stopped by at my aunts to see my cousins for a little bit :) I missed those two kids so much! then we came home, and when I got home my cousin form Europe was on :) and we talked, and he said that my aunt had gone and asked what it was that was needed for us to move there! And all that is needed is a job, and like a work permit thing, or umm.. evidence that we can work there! And after about an hour or so of talking to my cousin, my aunt called my mom and talked, but she wont give me all of the details about what they talked about, at least until my dad leaves I guess! Umm... then my dad woke up and I watched some stupid movie with them for a while, and while i was not by my phone! Work called, and my official first day is tomorroww! Yay! I work from noon to 5 :) I'm exited, and hopefully after that I will have some more idea as to what times I will work and stuff! So yeah, that's about it, not much else is going to happen tonight, I'm going to get started on homework, hopefully finish it and then get downstairs and get to doing the laundry cause I'm going to need to find something decent to wear to work tomorrow, as well as the shoes! 5 hours on my feet, we'll see how this will go, at least I love the store, and everything in it! :)) Wish me luckk!!
Lovee XX

shop till i drop and work till i burst

well going shopping, and going to call work when i get back if i dont go there while i'm shopping, this is really making me a bit angry of course it has only been a few days since I even got the job.. actually i got it on a wednesday so this is about the third day... ugh.. well anyways :) going shopping now and i have some homework that i have to finish and stuff, so that's pretty much what i'll be doing all day :) i'm in a bit of a better mood, or at least I'm trying to be considering what tomorrow is and everything that i'll have to do tomorrow which is making me super exited! hmm...someone is calling, i wonder who.. wireless caller, i have no idea.. lol no one i guess.. my mom didnt say anything but hello.. haha but anyway, other than boring you with these boring details, ill go and tomorrow, you can expect some crazy stories, pictures, songs, etc ;)) I'm actually getting kind of exited!! hehe
lovee
XX

urgh...

I hate days today where I'm just feeling kind of shitty :P I don't know why, no one did or said anything to me, it's just one of those days where you feel like crap. I've decided to just wait out until mom tells me that we're going to the store becaue we need to get food and stuff, then ill tell her to drive me to the mall because I want to see if the manager will be there because I need my freaking schedule to work. I applied and I got the job, but I never get called to come in, stupid. Anywho, as of right now, I plan on getting startedon homework....so more later when I will hopefully be feeling a bit better..
xx

FRIDAY!!!

Today is going to be such an amazing day, I know it!!!! Life is beginning to be amazing again, I'm so happy!!! Off to school in a couple of minutes, andd hopefully I'll get a call from work to get my schedule!! I have a new plan on how to get my parens to let me go home for New Years, I wont get my hope up that it will work, but HOPEFULLY!! More later my lovelies, have an extra amazing Friday everyone! And make it worth remembering!! x33
XX

I apologize :)

For the lack of pictures in the last two posts! :) I didn't think there was really a need :) hehe I feel there are some things that I need to do tomorrow! Since I think (I hope) it may be my last day off in a while, and hopefully I will start working this weekend! The lady hadn't called me today so I hope that they will tomorrow! Daddy works tomorrow! yay! So, if they don't call then I will just have to go and pay a visit to the store, and hopefully the manager will be there :) I am going to hopefully try and re-do my blog, yet again :) there is one certain way that I want to fix it, and I want a new header, and a new link name thing, but I totally forgot how to do hat, so I'll have to figure it out! TGTIF! I'm exited to be woken up by someone's sweet texts again :) They just made my day!But, right now, I am going to head to bed, an extra hour of sleep than usual! Good night my lovlies :))
XX

hi stress :/

OMGHHKP. Not in a good way now! I have to get my grades up as hiighhh as i possibly can and soon especially with my internet class and the rest of my classes which I have mostly c's in except for like three classes,.. time to step up your game vanessa...I'll head off to do homework now, then eat and watch tv, and then take a break in my jacuzzi, then go to sleep, unless it is too early then i will try and work on some more homework.. wish me luck everyone!
xx

SiCk Of YoU...

boys really piss me off. Especialy ex boyfriends. When they KNOW that they hurt you, and that you would be SO happy not hearing from them, the make an EXTRA effort to talk to you and try to be all nice. it's like umm NO. shut up and go away like you hurt me, you played me, you said you loved me,and you know maybe you did, maybe it was my fault that this happened because I left, but even though i left, I still tried to fight for you, to fight for us, but you in whatever mode, you didn't care if we made it, because it took you I swear it didnt even take you 5 freaking days after we break up to find some other little girl to date. And you break up with her maybe two weeks.. 3 weeks after? And you talk to me, and you tell me how much you miss me, and you miss us, and I fall for it... like the stupid little insecure self that I am, i fall for it. And I miss you and I smile at the thought of you again, but then.. two days later, ___ is in a relationship with ___ . That is the lowest thing that a guy has ever done to me, and it's not something that I can forget, or that I can forgive. I know, I'll always have these feelings for you, and my birthday will never be the same because of you, because you changed my life, and I'll always love you in some way. But my feeling of being hurt, and my trust being gone, overpowers that...and I'm happy now with someone new, and so are you,...so I know that I wont make any contact with you what so ever, if you want to talk to me, okay cool.. I'll talk to you. The only time I'll contact you is when I said I would, because you asked. After that, nothing, the only time we'll talk is when YOU make the effort, so YOU know how it feels for once.... I'm SICK of you feeding me those LIES anymore, and I wont fall for it again, not once, and most CERTAINLY not twicee.. goodbye to you... sweet seventeen...

oops :)

Sorry about that picture from last night! I was so tired, I didn't even know which one I put up :) hehe I have a good feeling that from now on, life will be so great!! I found an amazing guy, I found an amazing job, Not counting today or tomorrow, I have one more week of school left until Thanksgiving break! 5 days off! There isn't much to say right now, I have to go get ready for school, and then go to school...yup :) That's the only part of my life I don't like so much! heheh Well, Im gonna go ahead and go now!Have an amazing day lovelies!!
XX

ohh once again :)

I think my daily night posts are going to just plain be from my phone from now on because I always settle into bed before realizing I still haven't blogged!! Well, I went on m interview today and about not even an hour later, I got the job :) im supposed to get a call hopefully tomorrow to find out when I start working!! Im exited to see how this will change everything now considering I wont have much time for just lounging around and stuff :) but I am going to go off into dreamland now, and think about this more tomorrow, goodnightt :)
Xx

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nap time!

hey guys :) guess what douche bag is back with his ex! uhh huhh, my ex is back with his whore of a girlfriend! it really makes im a pedofile since she is wayyyy underage :) oh well, fuck him :) i have lost all respect for him right now, especially after all the bs he said to me a few days ago, he can just fuck himself :) please excuse my language tho! I really want to take a nap right now, but if I do I will feel like crap later, and I only have an hour until my interview, so what I'm going to do is star some homework, and get ready and head off to the interview :) Wich me luck, and have a good rest of the day!

More sleep :P

Even though I know that today will be a very good day, I would absolutly positively love to get some more sleep! At least there is that early out today, and when I get home I can take a nap, thank goodness! But right now, I have to finish up some homework before I do anything else, so I will see you again when I get home from school!!
XX

P.S! That is a picture of my home :) Well, not my home home, I mean my back home in Europe, it's just a hotel over there but I'm in love with it x333 I miss it so much :')

good nightt

Omg im so sleepy its unbelievable..here is a pic of me todayy with my friend but I was forced to crop her out hehe nighttt

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OMGHHKP,...waitt whhhaatt?!?!

Woowwww today was a woww day! It was a good day, and there was no confusion or anything going on up until my seventh period!! It's my film class so, we were watching a movie for like over an hour and a half! so by the time i was coming home, i was so out of it! Then, I get home, and my room is like a mess, and i was like oh no no no, this cannott happen! So I cleaned up really quick, and made coffee and mommy came home (: And I met this new guy...the day before yesterday I think, and I guess we're going out now.... I KNOW I KNOW I KNOWWWW. I'm like a whore or a slut or something, but I'mmm notttt!!! Look, the thing is, my ex boyfriend and I, no matter how much we may want to, we can't be together...and I have to move on at scme point right.. But, I'm seventeen, I'm soo young, and still have a lottt of time left before I should settle down! I need to date around and see what kind of a man I really want! Yes, this is me trying to convince myself that, and OMGHHKP MY INTERVIEWER CALLED ME JUST NOW AND I HAVE AN INTERVIEW SET UP FOR TOMORROW AT 4:00 PM!! Which means, thank goodness for the early dissmissle! I can come home, nap, relax, do homework, etc, eat, and the interview is at 4pm!! Let's hope that this works out for me! eep!!! So, I'm going to get started on homework now, I have plenty of it! and I'll write more tonight!!
XX

Quickie!

OMGHHKP TODAY IS GOING TO BE SUCH A GOOD DAY! I'm going to leave for school in a few minuts, the weather is looking amazing, I just talked to my ex. I know OMG VANESA NO! Well, yes! It was the best conversation we've had in a while too!!! It's insanee!!! But ugh, I feel so bad for all these other guys, I don't know what to do! I mean, it's not like we're together, so it's not that bad of a thing, and when I don't talk to him, I'm prefectly fine, like those other guys have a chance, a big chance! But when he's around it's just him him him! I only have 4 classes today, I'm exited for 1, 3, and 7 periods, but sooo not exited for 2nd, who knows what that is going to bring! I just have a feeling that today will be an exeptionally good day, and it will go by very fast!! Other than that, nothing new to say, of course, I didn't finish up my homework, but I will try and do that before 3rd period, and then I'll make up some crazy story for it! So, now I head off to school, have a greatt day everyone!! XX

Wie Geht es dir..

Whatttsss uppp. I didn't have as long a day today as I thought I would, just towards the end of it because I had to go to the hospital with my aunt. I've had a headache almost all day, its about 7 pm rightnow. I've been one day without doing my German and I already miss it like crazy :/ I hate school so much, its unbelievable! I want to call rue21 soon and check out what the deal with my application and why no one is calling or anything. I seriously need a job, like no joke. Ugh this pretty much sucks! I'm just so much more overwhelmed now cause my senses are like on the rise form my period and stuff (sorry if its too much tmi) But this happens all the time, I just can't wait to get back into the speed of things by this weekend, I hate being a girl, it's too stressful!! I'm just trying to not like overreact about so much stuff, like I'm one of those girls who LOVES boys. and if things don't go well with them then it's like ugh, I'm a mess. haha But I'm trying really hard to change that :) I wanted to skip school so bad this morning, but tonight I am going to try and go to bed by 8pm. On sunday morning/Saturday night or whatever I got a full night of sleep! It was amazing, but I woke up last night because of my cramps and I was really hot :/ I'm hoping that I don't wake up tonight as well, but I have this bad feeling that I will I swear like so much is wrong with me I don't even know! I just know that I am soo happy that in just 9 more days I am done with school in November, I get a 5 day break! For Thanksgiving, go back to school for 3 weeks in December and get two weeks off! And I'm almost done! Then, I just have to keep my mind focused on work work work, keep calling my aunt and uncle for information on moving! And working, saving money, and getting a ticket for back home! And going with my best friend and having the time of my life! It's so weird knowing that after January, I'm totally and completely done with my nice routine of going to school every day and that being my only worry, it's a little bit stressful as well, and I will soon have to make another appointment with my guidance councler, about getting my diploma before and stuff, and I have to find time on Wednesday to catch up with my internet class. Thank goodness for the early out! And uhm...yeah..I think that's more or less it for today :) I doubt that I will be updating more later tonight becuase I'll just have this one poem to finish, I'll type it tomorrow morning, and head off to school for my almost 2 hour long classes :/ $#!% hehe. Okay, have a good rest of the night my lovlies :)
XX

Monday Mornings :/

Ugh, back to another week of school :/ I really hope this week passes by as fast as last week did, I am soo much more than ready to just finish school, not even kidding! I'm just set on being over with it haha. i washed my hair this morning, so that adds about 10 more things I have to do..I'll just try and get it done asap :P ugh :/ I really am not in the mood to do anything today! This sucks. okay well, more later today.. byee!
XX

Laku Noc ;)

Lol My title's are anything but english! I just came home from my best friend's house, gosh I miss her so much! Like, I see her every day at school and stuff, but it is deff not the same!! I get to hang out with her again on Wednesday and on Friday!! Things are getting back to normal what with the holidays coming up and all the breaks coming up which is getting me very exited, because next week is the week of November 14th! I will say this with every new blog post I swear :) It's just a very special date for us! But, now I am going to slowly start getting ready for bed, ughh another week of school :/ fuck it. hehe sorry for my language x33 Sleep tight mein schatziss!!
XX

Mir gefällt Deutsch nicht! Ich musst mehre lernen! :P

Oh mein Gott! Ive been studying my German for about 4 hours now, and this last lesson took me two hours to do! It had to do with like school and classes and tests and studying and reading and etc.. I dont know why this one was so hard! Nothing much to say. I didnt do anything else today except for that and cleaned up my room and did my nails. I will go and study some more German now and then start on other homework...My dad said that we will visit my friend today, so I will have to ask him because he will wake up soon! Yay!I just remembered that! Im exited now. So, I will go, have a good rest of the afternoon (:
XX

crampsssssss :(

My gosh I hate the day/the few days before i get my period, the cramps are unbearable, and I feel naseaous and it just plain sucks! This is the only time I hate being a girl. Thank god this only comes once a month, but really God, you couldn't have made it like once a year or something! Or why not let men have it, like really why do women have to go through all the pain?! :( oh Vanesa vanesa, same story every month. hehehe. BUT IT'S SUNDAYYY!!!!!! It's great because my aunt better call today!! Even if she doesn't have much news, she should still call!! I'm exited for that, I have some homework I'll have to do and also I've downloaded a billion songs, so I'll put those on all of our ipods and make cd's! I'll also end up cleaning up a little bit, and my mom and I will have to go grocery shopping because we don't have much food or anything leftt! hehe and then after that is no more shopping for a while! Plus, I'll need lunch money for tomorrow! Ugh, I csn't believe it's already sunday and I have to go back to school again, this sucks! But at least there is an early out this week, so it will go by fast! And OMGHHKP NEXT WEEKEND IS THE WEEKEND OF NOVEMBER 14TH!!! Oh, november 14th :)) That is the date that everything in my life changed forever, and that is the date that lead me to exactly where I am today, because without it...oh god only knows where I would be!! woww... :) That day I will be blogging about like crazy I think ! hehhe Okay, I will go now and clean up my bed and work on those songs, and hope and pray that my aunt calls! If she doesn't well there is nothing to do but wait until next Sunday (which btw is the 14th :)) and if she doesn't call on that day, then we call her!! :) yay! okay, have an amazingg morning !
XX

shopping, gossip, chocolate, and red bull :)

theres all the stuff I bought :) not much, but oh wells, I didn't get any new shoess :( which upset me, but my mom and i got to talking about like money and how much we have left and stuff, and i was like ughh, we really have to save for later, so ive decided to try not to go shopping anymore for a whiiileee, besides I pretty much have everything I need anyway! So, that's my new years resolution, starting a few months early! hahah
GOSSIP! omghhkp! my eex and I are.... i don't evenn knowwww, we have this thing between us but I have no ideaaa whatt it iss!! and then my mosttt recent ex, the one i just went out with like a few days ago haha for a few days, contacted me on this other fb of mine, and it was like... now im all confusedd and just... ghhharrr :PP i really don't know what to doo!!
While I went shopping, i found this chocolate from back home! Oh my gosh I was sooo happy, you don't even knowww like I almost started cryingg! I got it at target, which always was and still is my favorite store everrr!!
Andd, today my mom and I went to the gas station and we got some red bull, and I got this biiiggggg can of it :D piic is up above, lol okayy that's it for tonightt :) have a great rest of the nightt!!
XX

2 more hours :)

Until I get to go shopping! Today was a prety eventful day, I must admit, for my usual self and my usual weekend! I did some homewor, studied some german, cleaned up, and got dressed and took some pictures, I'm eating right now, and after I eat I'm going to download some songs to put on my ipod, and when I'm done with that, I'll start doing some more homework. Then around that time, we should be heading out to do some shopping :) I'm like half exited, half not because...I don't want to spend money, but at the same time, I'll get to buy some new heels and jewlery and purses that remind me so much of home, it's not even funny!! Then, I'll come home, and relax for the rest of the night, hopefully we wont get home until at least like.. 8 or so, that way I can get to bed, and tomorrow is sunday so I will be getting up pretty early, maybe around the time my dad is getting home from work, because my aunt BETTER be calling for information and stuff!! I'm so exited! XD alright, have a great rest of the afternoon :)
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Guten Morgen, schatz :)

Good morning darling! Oh my my, my night was filled with so much! Just so much with my ex! I don't even know what this is all about anymore! But I am very tired because i woke up at about 3:30 am because my phone was rining...or..atleast I think it was ringing that I got a message on fb from my ex, and yeah! Anywho, today, I mean there isn't a lot that i have to do, but there is enough to get me through the day. As for now, there is no picture because I look really bad :) I will have to put make up on later today though, or actually probably even not, if I don't feel like it, I'm getting prety sick of doing that! But now, I am going to go and get ready for the morning, and then eat some breakfast, and either start homework, or cleaning :) Have a good morning!
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Shopping post :)

I can't believe after all of the times that i have went shopping,since i created a blog, this is the first time that I did a shopping post, geeshh Vanesa!! Well anywho, since i'm tired and there isn't much to say, i'll just show you picttures of what i got! Just some necklaces, these two super cute snowmen, andd a bucket of popcorn with this really cute design on it!! The flash was too bright on my camera, but i was too lazy to tinker with it, because I still had to study my German ! I will be doing some more shopping...tomorrow I think, buying some more jewlery and purses and shoes!! yay! Exited. so, for now, enjoy the pictures, and good night!