stop judging vanesa.

Im so stupiiiiiddddddddd. Ughhh there's this guy who is bosnian. Who is really sweet, who lives in dsm...who really likes me and hasn't given up on me ever since we started talking which is a few months ago, and yet I still don't date him. He's not the cutest looking guy around, and he is older...a biit older..about as old as my ex and its just kind of like...urghh but whoever said that I should worry about what others think...and I should give people a chance, if I don't do that how do I expect others to give me a chance................okay.........okay..ok...yea..ok..fine....

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anddd here they come.

so this was what.... a day and a half of being happy? this isnt fair. i hardly have any hours to work anyway. i only just got my first check. i want to go shopping. i dont want to pay my phone bill right now. ill never have enough money to pay it and be able to do/get what i want. this is stupid the thing isnt even on my name. its on his. how does he not have any money to pay it, hes had money for the past two years and now just because i got a freaking check he doesnt have any money. ughhhhhhhhhhh.

teeheee :)

I skipped school todaaaayyy :)) schwoops.. but oh well!! Ill spend the next few hours catching up on everything and stuff :)) So yeah, and Ill be cleaning up my room and doing some laundry, then ill go shopping a little earlier and I wont have to wait until after school!!! There is something else that I want to say, really bad just as well...but I wont! I don't want to jinx it...ive learned my lesson from the past!! hehe have a nice dayy :)

"OMG I WISH...." post.

LAST PIC: OMG I WISH I DIDNT HAVE SO MANY PIMPLES
SECOND TO LAST PIC: OMG I WISH I COULD GO SHOPPING
THIRD TO LAST-FIRST PIC: OMG I WISH I LOOKED LIKE THIS GIRL :/


I AM NOT HAPPY WHAT SO EVER AT ALL EVEN A LITTLE BIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOT WITH MY LOOKS, NOT WITH MY ATTITUDE, NOT WITH MY ROOM, NOT WITH MY CLOTHES, NOT WITH MY SCHOOL THINGS.. NOT WITH ANYTHINGG!! AND I WANT TO CHANGE IT, REALLY REALLY SUPER BAD BUT THRES NO TIME ITS ALREADY NINE AND I HAVE TO GO TO BED BECAUSE I HAVE SCHOOL TOMORROW AND I WORKED AND URGHH. HERES WHAT I WANTTTT TO DOOO. GAIN WEIGHT, GET TAN, DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT TO MY HAIR, UMM.... YEAH THERES MORE BUT IM JUST SO PISSED WITH MYSELF RIGHT NOW.LOL GOODDDDDDDDD. AND THEN ON THE OTHER HANDDDDDD I WANT TO LOOK LIKE MY FRIEND IN NORWAY WHOSE JUST LIKE.. NOT LIKE THEM BUT STILL SO AMAZING. BUT I WANT TO LOOK LIKE THESE GIRLS MORE. IM SO......IDK WHAT THE WORD IM LOOKING FOR IS BUT I KNOW WHAT IM THINKING OF AND YEAH. LOL DOES ANYONE ELSE EVER THINK LIKE THIS? LIKE DO YOU EVERR JUST GET RANDOM MOMENTS WHERE YOU JUST WANT TO CHANGE EVERY LITTLE THING?! IM EATING 24/7 NOW, IM GONNA GET A HAIRCUT SOMETIME THIS WEEKEND, OR JUST DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT TO MY HAIR. IM GONNA GO SHOPPING SOOOON. IF NOT TOMORROW THEN BY WEDNESDAY FOR SURE, LIKE AS SOON AS I GET MY CHECK INTO THE BANK I AM GOING SHOPPING. ILL HAVE TO CLEAN UP MY ROOM AND GET SOME MORE MAKEUP AND YEAH. OKAY. IM DONE RANTING AND IM NOT REALLY SLEEPY YET SO IM GONNA GO SHOWER AND THEN IF IM STILL NOT SLEEPY THEN DO HOMEWORK AND THEN IF IM STILL NOT SLEEPY, GET STARTED ON THIS... OKAYY GOODNIGHT X333
P.S. TELL ME IF IM THE ONLY ONE WHO THINKS LIKE THIS?! LOL I DONT THINK I AM, BUT AT TIMES DUDE.. UGHH ! IT GETS ON MY NERVES LOL

Good Morning

It is 9 am! I didn't wake up too long ago, but just decided I'd do a quick post. I have tons of homework to do, a lot to clean up, and clothes to.. iron and stuff before work!! I'm thinking of curling my hair for work today because I don't want to shower yet.. I'll just shower tonight after work and then yeah :) I have to do like really well super amazing at work today because next week I work like zero hours, and I'm totally gonna have to show them that I really like working there and stuff, because as much as I sometimes complain that working is too much and stuff and I wish I had a weekend off or whatever, I LIKE WORKING!! goshh. Lol But anyway, I seem to be in a pretty good mood today :D I don't think we'll be hearing from anyone in europe this week :/ it sucks but oh well I guess :P I don't want to say I've given up on it, but I've kind of let faith take it over, I still want to move but if its not meant to be, then its not, ya know ;P But yeah, I'm going to go eat now and stuff, and you guys have a great rest of the day!!
XX
p.s that is a pic of me from summer of 2009!!! aah! :P lol

Whats new? (:

I just got home from work about an hour ago (: It was actually really nice, I had a pretty good time..aside from some girls stealing something :/ But what are ya gonna do
it happens often. I mean not often Lol,but it happens.
Right now, im just going to start homework, and relax for the rest of the night.. then ill be cleaning tomorrow, working and then its off to school again every day for five days for three or four weeks :P lol
oh wellss
have a great night!
XX

hangover.....

oh sheisseee :/ l0L
The worst part about having an amazing night is the day after ://
I feel like shit, (excuse the french.) My feet kill, my head kills. and I only got like.. not a lot of hours of sleep :P I'm just laying in bed right now.. still in the clothes I was in last night, honestly lol I have no energy for anything, and like i said. hangover ;/ I have to work tonight from 4 to nine :/
so I have 2.5 more hours to rest ughh.. lol
There isnt much to say really lol last night was a ton of fun.
But Im glad to be back in my boring little town :)
I kinda starrted to forget about my culeral pride, but its back now, and hopefully not going away for a while! I'm hoping to go back to visit my cousin soon, maybe for Holiday break! Hopefully
But right now, I'm soooo homesick!! :/
Not even kidding, I can't wait for summer and to go back!!!! I get my first check today :) So that's exiting.. I get to work 3 days in a row again, then its back to five day school weeks for three more weeks. On the bright side, I just have like a month of school left. And, I'm almost done with my online class! If I do all of my homework this weekend, and manage to get really good grades on my online class homework/ last two tests/quizzes, Ill graduate average rofl
AND ill have so much more time to work on my german! its been like three weeks :/
Just like... a day or two left and then we get to talk to my grandma and my aunt and uncle from Germany!!!! Gosh I miss them after only like seven days go by :P lol
Anyway, its like 1:30 now, I hope you liked some of the pics there :) Im gonna go check what my moms up to and then do some homework :) Have a good rest of the day
XX

Happy Thanksgiving!

I hope everyone is having a great thanksgiving so far! Ive had noo time to blog lately, honestly! I spent all morning getting ready, and when its time to leave, my mom decides to put the turkey in the oven lol oh wells. I'm getting super exited tho! itll remind me so much of home, I can't wait!! It'll be amazing, I'm getting teary-eyed just thinking about it!! The good looking guys with their hair made all nice and everything, it'll be beyond amazing!! But I really miss home right now :( Its making me so homesick! But its okay, I'll be back soon enough :) <3 But for the rest of the night, have a great dinner, or great whatever it is that you're doing and be safe!! I'll blog more tomorrow or Saturday, whenever I get some time!!
Loveee xx

2010 memories :)

The weather isn't soo nice outside, but it reminded me of the first three months or so of 2010 and it just made me smile :) It's not that I don't like life right now, I really do, I mean things have to change, but I do miss a lot of the things that were going on at this time last year!! It's nice! But, I have to get ready, well not ready but like wash my face and brush my teeth, im feeling much better with my cold, andd.. i have to do some homework and stuff, clean up that way I can rest a bit tomorrow, and then we have to leave for outta town! Can't wait!!! x333

jer samo dobrim curama, uvijek se ruzno desavaa..

HI hi! I slept in until nine today!! I haven't slept in until nine in a long long time!! Wow, I don't have a lot to write really, but i do feel much better :) I'm listening to music right now, and just chatting it up with people :) Today is a day where I miss everything and everyone! It's almost eleven o'clock already! geeze! I think I'll get more into blogging in these next few days of break!! I have today and tomorrow off until I have to work again.. fml :P But at least I work with Hillary for one of the days! Anywho, there is nothing much else to say, so im gonna go now! byee!! XX